3 WAYS HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS HELP HEAL TRAUMA

Do you ever feel like you need a friend’s support, yet stop yourself from reaching out?

For all of us, healthy relationships matter. As a matter of fact, deep relationships are essential to being a healthy human being. For trauma survivors the act of deepening relationships can be difficult.

Reaching out in time of need or asking for help doesn’t come easily to those who have experienced trauma in their lives. Something as seemingly simple as accepting a compliment may be painfully hard. However, the ability to move past these fears and hesitations is critical on the road to living a full and well-balanced life.

·         Do you have the temptation to hunker down and handle it yourself?

·         Do you feel like nobody will get it?

·         Do you feel ashamed or weak – like you don’t deserve support or compassion?

·         Is there a self-protector part inside of you who says: “I’m going to withdraw and stay safe so you don’t hurt me?”

·         Do you feel like you are supposed to just deal with it yourself?

If these questions feel true…if these doubts or voices creep up….think about saying to yourself:

I deserve deep relationships. I deserve to be cared for and nurtured. I deserve compassion. People care about me – and it’s healthy to lean on them and ask for help when I need it.

Here are three tips to help you move forward into deeper relationships:

1.       Know that having healthy relationships can repair old emotional wounds.

Healthy relationships can heal od attachment wounds. If you grew up without being nurtured by others, it can become what you expect from others as you grow.

2.       Consider the unrealistic standards you are holding yourself to.

Would you expect a child or friend to be as self-sufficient as you expect yourself to be? Yes, you must hold yourself accountable and be responsible, but you also must recognize the limitations of your humanness.

3.       Allow yourself to see the depths of your current relationships.

Oftentimes, trauma survivors are givers who expect and accept nothing in return. It might be challenging to see the true depth of love, support and compassion those close to you can provide you. Try to look at your relationships objectively and consider this potential.

You deserve compassion, support and deep relationships…

Asking for help can be difficult for everyone. It is especially difficult for those who have survived trauma. Through therapy that focuses on treating trauma, you will be able to realize you deserve deep relationships as you grow and evolve through life.