BETRAYAL TRAUMA THERAPY
“Betrayal does not only break your heart but also darkens your soul. You will never forget the pain like a fog that forever lingers in the depths of your mind”. –Unknown
YOU HAD A SUSPICION.
But you never believed the person you loved the most was capable of doing the things you found out they did.
You can’t sleep, REPLAYING the of the discovery in your mind.
You feel an intense level of depression, as your self-worth and self-esteem was SHATTERED.
You feel EXTREME levels of anxiety, wondering if it will happen again.
You feel irritated and angry at people you care about, but you also know you can’t tell these same people because it will change how they perceive your partner.
“Trust, once lost, could not be easily found. Not in the year, perhaps not even in a lifetime”.
–J.E.B. Spredemann
BETRAYAL TRAUMA RESULTS FROM A VIOLATION OF DEEP ATTACHMENT
where there had been abuse or neglect of an individual who depends on that attachment for their safety and well-being. Betrayal trauma occurs through child abuse or partner betrayal.
Betrayal trauma differs from other types of trauma because it involves the experience of abuse, but also the experience of being betrayed by a SIGNIFICANT relationship.
“Some scars don’t hurt. Some scars are numb. Some scars rid you of the capacity to feel anything ever again”. –Joyce Rachelle
Because the victim is RELIANT on the perpetrator to meet their physical, mental, and/or emotional needs, they often ADAPT their behavior in order to maintain the relationship.
This may cause the development of:
· Cognitive dissonance – the ability to hold two conflicting thoughts at the same time.
· Minimization – downplay the severity of an event
· Betrayal blindness – failure to see betrayal despite overwhelming evidence
This form of psychological blindness is a coping strategy that protects the individual’s mental and emotional safety by blocking out what is too painful or too frightening to confront.
THIS IS ALSO WHY MANY VICTIMS CHOOSE TO STAY WITH THEIR ABUSERS
And minimize the impact of abuse after it occurs.
Or why children who are secretly being abused can appear to have a loving relationship with their abusive caregiver.
This results in a betrayal of self.
“We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal”.
–Tennessee Williams
If left unresolved you might begin to feel DISTRUSTFUL and HYPERVIGILENT about who you can depend on. This results in an inability to trust, difficulty maintaining relationships or allow others to get close, difficulties with intimacy, or difficulty believing in your own decision making abilities.
Additionally you may have developed strategies for coping with the betrayal to include dissociation, disconnection, memory issues, and negative coping strategies such as overeating, or substance abuse.
“Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it’s up to you how much that pain damages you permanently”.
–Emily V. Gordon
ALTHOUGH BETRAYAL TRAUMA CAN BE PAINFUL AND LIFE CHANGING
there are many tools and strategies that can help you begin to heal and reclaim your life.
REACH OUT NOW to get scheduled to start reclaiming your life. Together we will confront the betrayal, determine triggers, identify your emotional experience and help you establish healthy self-care behaviors.
Call or text 720-629-2729 to schedule.
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