DON’T GET YOUR IDEAS ABOUT SEX FROM PORN
While pornography isn’t made for adolescents, it would be naïve to believe they don’t watch it. Earlier generations snuck peeks at their parents magazine or VHS collections. Today, most teenagers have internet access and thus a virtual library of unlimited pornography. But how does such exposure affect them?
It is difficult to determine the effects that porn use has on adolescence. Some of the correlations may not be causations. Research has found that adolescents who seek out porn are more likely to engage in certain sexual behaviors (like anal sex and group sex). Additionally, they begin having sex at younger ages. But are they engaging in sexual variety and at younger ages because they watched porn? Or are they highly sexually interested adolescents who seek out sexual stimulation in the form of both pornography and partners?
The reality is that pornography isn’t going anywhere; nor is it becoming more vanilla or realistic. An example of this is related to the percentage of anal sex in pornographic scenes (55%) compared to the actual number of Americans who engage in anal sex (4%). This sizable difference emphasizes the fictional nature of pornography. Other issues that are concerning include how porn depicts women, how sex is presented as casual versus intimate, and the frequency in which couples switch or part ways without exchanging names or wearing condoms. Another component that impacts young individuals is related to feeling inadequate due to the porn they are watching.
Yes, pornography is fiction. And there is a risk if young women and men are basing their sexual knowledge on pornography.
Imagine a young woman or man watching porn and this being their only form of sexual education. They may believe that anal sex and group sex is common, that genitals should be hairless, and that facials (not the spa kind) are par for the course. When they begin an actual relationship with someone they care for, their believes are challenged and they may find themselves having a difficult adjustment to sex in the real world – very different from what they have seen online.
In the larger context of sexual education, it is important to note that pornography is not the problem.
If parents and schools aren’t teaching teenagers about sex, intimacy, and healthy relationships, then pornography will remain their primary source of sexual information. We need age and developmentally appropriate sexual education programs in schools that span years; not just a video about puberty in elementary school.
More knowledge needs to be available for young women and men to learn about their bodies, learn about being emotionally vulnerable with others, and what is common (and not) about sexuality so that when they are creating their own sexual identities and sexual lives, they can create a sex life that feels good to them, rather than recreating the fictionalized, and sometimes risky, sex they have seen online. They will learn that pornography and romance novels are fictional depictions of sex and love – and it’s up to them to create a reality. Sex therapy is a great resource for helping individuals learn about sex in a therapeutic environment.