HOW TO FEEL ATTRACTIVE AND WORTHY – JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

In today’s world it is a huge challenge for us to feel confident and attractive. We are bombarded by mainstream media with images, voices and messages about having impossible standards. Those with a history of sexual abuse may have even more of a struggle with self-acceptance and healthy sex. Add those unrealistic ideals to past abuse or trauma, which lends itself to a negative self-concept, and an individual will be left struggling with a painful self-image.

So much of what we see in the news, culture and life works against self-compassion. However self-compassion and self-acceptance are a big part of being able to have healthy relationships. Healthy relationships include being able to have a healthy sex life you want and enjoy.

CONSENSUAL, MEANINGFUL SEX AFTER TRAUMA IS POSSIBLE

Every individual, regardless of their history, deserves a life with healthy relationships and sex that they enjoy.

What if we felt confident, beautiful or handsome and sexy just the way we were?

What if we could manage the voices and pressures that told us we needed to be, look or act a certain way?

Imagine empowering self-acceptance and self-love so that we can bring that confidence into all of our relationships.

Regardless of your trauma history:

1.       You can feel confident, attractive, sexy and worthy.

2.       You can have and enjoy healthy, satisfying, connected relationships with meaningful, pleasure sex!

A positive sense of self and healthy sex are closely connected. You are the one who can make feeling confident, worthy, attractive and sexy possible.

CHANGING HOW WE THINK ABOUT BEAUTY

Body positive campaigns are bringing a fresh perspective to media – but it’s only a start. These ideas aren’t yet widespread enough to change the landscape. It’s one thing to appreciate that other people are beautiful in their unique, interesting and real shapes and sizes. Often it is so much more difficult for us to view ourselves this way.

What if beauty was a person’s confidence, smarts or kindness? What if beautiful bodies were seen as how they allow us to engage with the world? What if we all appreciated our bodies for the unique way they allow joy and sensation – like what it feels like to walk or run, hold a puppy, or feel a crisp cool day or the warm sun – instead of what they look like?

HEALTHY AT EVERY SIZE

You can be healthy and beautiful at any size. Nobody has to be a size 2. Nobody has to have six-pack abs or thigh gaps. You can accept the body you have today. Invite yourself to explore better self-care, beginning where you are.

THE BELIEFS YOU BRING WITH YOU ALLOW YOU TO ENJOY CONNECTED, PLEASURABLE SEX

The beliefs you have about yourself are the same beliefs you bring to relationships and sex. If you don’t think you are attractive or worthy, how can you accept love and kindness in a relationship? How can you enjoy a meaningful and joyful sex life?

Start with this video by Emily Nagoski, The Keys to a Happier, Healthier Sex Life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HILY0wWBlBM

And then read her book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. She shows how, scientifically, peripheral factors related to a woman’s sexual wellbeing include stress, mood, trust and body image.

Your well being starts with being kind to yourself – no matter what. You were born to enjoy love. You deserve respect and kindness. You can begin to heal by giving yourself permission to hold space for yourself and all you’ve been through.

Healing means addressing false self-beliefs replacing these with the truth – that you are unique, beautiful and worthy.

You can accept and love yourself as you are.

You can accept and love your partner just as they are.

You can be present and confident – and enjoy sex with your partner – just the way you are.

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COUPLES THERAPY: CHEMICALS THAT MAKE US HAPPY

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TRAUMA’S IMPACT ON BRAIN CHEMICALS