LOW SEX DRIVE IN WOMEN: “I HAVE NO SEX DRIVE,” AND IT’S RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP

It is not uncommon for  partners to have mismatched sex drives. Frequently, women deal with a lower sex drive than men. This can be distressing for both partners and could put the relationship at risk if left unresolved. Identifying the root cause of low libido can lead to effective treatment options.

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF A LOW SEX DRIVE IN WOMEN

The medical term for low sex drive and lack of interest in sex is hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), although there is some debate as to whether or not a woman’s lack of sex drive should be viewed as a disorder.

Symptoms of HSDD include:

·        Difficulty obtaining pleasure from sex or genital stimulation

·        Disinterest in initiating sex

·        Lack of interest in sexual activity

·        Non-existent sexual thoughts or fantasies

DIAGNOSING A LOW SEX DRIVE IN WOMEN

Research has found that female sex drive differs from that of men and that women naturally have lower libidos and think about sex less often than men.

Diagnosing Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)

According to the Diagnositc and Statistical Manual of Mntal Disorders (DSM-5-TR), to be diagnosed with HSDD, the lack of desire must cause someone significant distress and negatively affect their relationships or self-esteem, for six months or more.

Important to note, some fluctuations in sexual desire are natural and healthy. Other factors that reduce sexual desire that won’t qualify as HSDD. To rule out HSDD, work with your doctor to identify any potential causes and treatment options. Since there are no specific medical tests that can diagnose HSDD, your doctor will want to know your symptoms to understand more about how your low sex drive is impacting your relationships and life.

WHAT CAUSES WOMEN TO HAVE LOW SEX DRIVE?

·        Perimenopause/menopause

·        Aging

·        Underlying medical issues (e.g., cancer, bladder/bowel issues)

·        Emotional or psychological problems

·        Stress

·        Anxiety

·        Certain medications

·        Relationship stress

·        Sexual trauma

MEDICAL FACTORS

Sometimes low sex drive may be the result of an underlying medical condition or medications:

·        Antidepressants

·        Being overweight or obese

·        Blood pressure medications

·        Chronic health conditions such as diabetes, hypothyroidism, arthritis, anemia, cardiovascular disease, or endocrine or neurological disorders

·        Chronic or physical pain, which may be associated with medical condition

·        Conditions, such as vulvodynia, that make sex painful

·        Depression and anxiety disorders

·        Diminished blood vessels or nerves after a hysterectomy or other surgery involving the reproductive organs

·        Menopause, pregnancy, or breastfeeding

PERSONAL FACTORS

Daily life stresses can have an impact on your sex drive.

PREGNANCY

Many women have lower desire for sex during and after pregnancy due to being extra busy and fatigued or focusing more on their children than the marriage.

STRESS

Work stress can negatively affect your sex drive as well, especially when having to care for a family. By the end of the day, sleep is the priority over sex. And if you are managing stress through smoking and drinking, or using other substances, your sex drive will suffer as a result.

RELATIONSHIP-BASED FACTORS

One of the strongest factors impacting women’s drive is the quality of her relationship and emotional connection to their sexual partner.

Problems that may interfere with your sex life include:

·        Desire to punish or control your partner by withholding sex

·        Infidelity

·        Long-standing unresolved relationship issues and resentment

·        Power imbalances in the relationship

TREATMENT OF LOW SEX DRIVE IN WOMEN

Once you have identified the issues contributing to your low sex drive, you can begin treatment.

Therapy and lifestyle changes

If the problems are identified to be stress – or relationship-based, there are several approaches that may help. A therapist can help teach you how to better communicate with your partner and suggest sexual techniques right for your relationship to create a more pleasurable experience.

Lifestyle change can include the following:

·        Exercising regularly

·        Using mindfulness-based interventions

·        Avoiding tobacco and alcohol

·        Setting aside time for intimacy or sexual experimentation (using sex toys, new positions, or role-playing)