FIVE REASONS YOU PREFER PORN TO SEX WITH YOUR PARTNER

Consistently choosing porn over sex takes a toll on your romance.

Of course, this concern can be complicated and nuanced. Many individuals relate to the experience of choosing masturbation over sex, atleast on occasion. But constantly choosing porn over intimacy run the risk of ruining intimate relationships. Here are some of the more common explanations for this sexual challenge:

1.      Sex with your partner isn’t that exciting. Maybe your partner isn’t an enthusiastic lover and you don’t feel particularly desired. Or perhaps sex has become so routine that is predictable and boring.

2.      It’s easier for you to orgasm when you are flying solo. Many individuals find this to be the case. This is because you can control the stimulation – you know exactly how and when to touch yourself to create the most intense experience. Sometimes people think it’s the porn that makes masturbation so exciting. That could be, but often porn is just a vehicle for your mental focus, and it’s your touch that’s key.

3.      You feel disconnected from your partner emotionally. Maybe you feel disrespected or rejected by them, but you aren’t talking with them about it. It’s very difficult to be intimate with someone when uncomfortable emotions separate you.

4.      You have sexual concerns and feel anxious or ashamed during partnered sex. As a result, you feel such intense performance anxiety that it becomes challenging for you to feel pleasure during sex.

5.      You like something kinky that you are either too embarrassed to share with your partner, or you’ve tried to share it and your partner isn’t receptive.

Preferring masturbation over partnered sex is likely to have a negative impact on your intimate relationships over time.  If this is something that you would like to address, sexual addiction therapy may be beneficial.

Infidelity - https://www.choosingtherapy.com/is-liking-instagram-pictures-cheating/

IS IT CHEATING IF MY BOYFRIEND LIKES OTHER WOMEN’S PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM

Someone’s partner may like other women’s pictures on Instagram for many reasons, not all of which are threatening to the relationship. Liking other women’s pictures may become inappropriate if it makes you feel uncomfortable, affects yours self-esteem, the picture is risqué, or the woman is someone your boyfriend has been involved with or attracted to.

WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND LIKE WOMEN’S PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM?

Social media is part of everyday life and relationships, so liking people’s pictures on different platforms is not uncommon. Your boyfriend’s reasons for liking women’s pictures on Instagram and social media may range from innocent displays of friendship to instances of micro-cheating and infidelity. When your partner likes people’s pictures on Instagram, you may feel jealous or develop insecurities that impact your self-esteem, especially if it crosses your personal boundaries. This behavior can even be categorized as an online affair, depending on previously defined relationship boundaries.

Some reasons your boyfriend might look at women’s pictures on Instagram include:

·        They are close friends with this person

·        They are coworkers, family or friends

·        He used to like their pictures prior to the relationship

·        He doesn’t think there is anything wrong with it

·        He’s attracted to the person

·        He doesn’t think/know it bothers you

·        He is not invested in your relationship anymore

·        He may want to get caught

·        He is comfortable in the relationship and doesn’t find it threatening

·        He is looking for attention

·        He is looking for someone to have an affair with

Liking other people’s pictures on Instagram is not inherently bad. Ultimately whether this hurts you depends on the boundaries you have established with your partner, the types of pictures they are liking, and the people whose pictures they like. People are unusually familiar with their boyfriend’s friends, and typically, they do not make their partner feel insecure. However, if their boyfriend crosses the line, inappropriate behaviors can lead to low self-esteem, lack of trust, and resentment in marriage or relationships.

1. Liking an Ex’s Instagram Pictures

If you like an ex’s picture and know this behavior would be unacceptable to your partner, it becomes inappropriate and deceitful. Secretly liking your ex’s pictures on Instagram is even further evidence that you are doing something that you know is unethical or hurtful towards your partner. To be considered a normal act in a relationship, both partners would have expressed their acceptance in the beginning of the relationship and agreed on what is permissible. If you and your current partner are both friends with your ex, or if you have a mutual understanding of what is considered acceptable with your ex, then liking their pictures may be tolerated and even normal. When one partner breaks this agreement, they violate previously established boundaries and deceive their partner.

2.  Liking an Influencer’s or Celebrity’s Pictures

Most people follow and engage with their favorite influencers and celebrities on social media, so liking their Instagram pictures can be considered normal. Some people tend to mold online personas that help increase their visibility by gaining more followers and likes. If your boyfriend is seeking to increase his visibility on social media, liking a celebrity or influencer’s pictures may help their status. However, if you have communicated to your boyfriend that liking these pictures affects your mood, self-esteem, body image, and/or self-worth, it could be a sign of your boyfriend’s priorities.

If your boyfriend is doing something you’re not comfortable with, it’s important that you do not suppress your feelings and choose to process and communicate your emotions instead. If you give him a chance to understand what makes you feel uncomfortable, he may take this opportunity to apologize, fix his behavior, and/or be more honest moving forward.

3. Liking Bikini Pictures

Your boyfriend liking other women’s bikini pictures on Instagram may be considered normal if your boyfriend is liking a family member’s or close friend’s photo, or if you have previously agreed that this is acceptable. However, if your boyfriend is seeking out women specifically in bikinis just to view and like, it is understandable to feel hurt and betrayed. Even if one of the women’s photos is a mutual friend, it can become uncomfortable for you and the other person when this crosses a relationship boundary.

4. Liking Coworkers’ Instagram Pictures

Liking coworkers’ Instagram pictures can be a normal part of forming and maintaining friendships in the workplace. Your boyfriend may be someone who is friendly with his coworkers, regardless of gender, and finds that this helps him foster a more positive environment at work. However, if your boyfriend liking coworkers’ pictures on Instagram takes  time away from you and your relationship, it could become an issue. If your boyfriend is distracted by constantly checking his coworkers’ social media and liking their photos, this could be a potential problem in your relationship. If your partner only likes female coworkers’ Instagram pictures, it could be a sign that he is attracted or may be looking for attention.

5. Their Close Female Friends

If your boyfriend likes their close female friends’ pictures, it could raise some red flags for you. This may be considered inappropriate if they had a relationship or have been intimate in the past, if your partner had a previous attraction to that person, or if you have expressed discomfort with it. Having friends of the opposite sex becomes an issue when it poses a risk to the relationship’s health.

6. Liking Your Female Friends’ Pictures

Your boyfriend may like your friends’ Instagram pictures to impress you by trying to engage and bond with your female friends on social media. However, if your boyfriend likes your female friends’ pictures, it may be a sign of disrespect towards you and your relationship. This behavior becomes inconsiderate, disrespectful, and inappropriate when it becomes more than just a friendly like, the pictures are risqué, or if he messages them as well. Does your boyfriend leave inappropriate comments on their photos, such as a heart or fire emoji? This would be an indication that something more may be going on, whether your friend is aware or not.

7. If They Have a Secret Instagram Account

If your boyfriend has a secret Instagram account, it can be a huge red flag for secrecy, lying, and potential infidelity. He has created something to deliberately hide from you, which is deceitful, dishonest, and hurtful. Secret Instagram accounts are generally not okay, but if the account is meant to be a surprise or dedication to you, it may be acceptable for some level of secrecy to exist. This becomes inappropriate when your boyfriend is using a secret account to flirt, talk with people suggestively, or engage in sexual behaviors with others.

8. Liking Sexual Content

If your boyfriend likes content that is specifically focused on sex, such as not safe for work (NSFW) content, promoting inappropriate pictures, or showing sex apparel, it could be considered inappropriate and detrimental to your relationship. If you are not being asked to join or be involved, and/or if your partner is doing this in secret, it can be inappropriate due to the topic of interest. Social media can affect relationships by allowing access to content that may promote unhealthy behaviors, such as communicating with alternate partners, which may create relationship conflict, breakups, or divorce.2
The only time this may be considered normal or appropriate is if your boyfriend was interested in trying new things with you, but wanted to do further research first.

9. Liking Intimate Apparel or Lingerie pictures

If you see your boyfriend liking intimate apparel or lingerie pictures on Instagram, you may immediately be concerned. While he may be looking for lingerie ideas to get you, it is more often than not a red flag. Even if he were looking for lingerie for both of you to benefit from, it could make you uncomfortable that you are not included. Usually, if your boyfriend likes intimate apparel or lingerie pictures, he is taking time from your relationship to focus on other women in sexy clothing. This behavior is often inappropriate, as it shows disrespect, lack of consideration, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

When To Consider Therapy

If you feel you can no longer trust your partner or their actions, therapy can help you navigate difficult conversations, complicated topics surrounding infidelity, and find a healthy path towards recovery. Therapists can help couples restore trust by encouraging each partner to make gradual changes that shows their commitment to the relationship. Therapy provides a space to establish healthy boundaries and expectations moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Your boyfriend’s Instagram “likes” can be genuine and innocent unless they cross your relationship boundaries or affect your dynamic. You and your significant other are the ones to make this judgment call, as it is up to you to define what you deem appropriate in your relationship. If you notice signs of inappropriate or concerning social media use and engagement, always try to talk to your boyfriend first and understand their actions before reacting. If you’re struggling with relationship conflict, a therapist can help you come to a mutual understanding of your boundaries, expectations, and future.