WHEN TO WALK AWAY AFTER INFIDELITY

After infidelity you may struggle with trying to decide whether to stay or leave the relationship. Aside from the pain of betrayal, knowing when to walk away after infidelity is a lot more challenging to face. However, decision-making could be easy if you were to think about what may be best for you. But a situation such as this can cause whirlwind of emotions. And it is likely you are confused and don’t know what is right for you at this moment.

After all, it’s hard to unlove someone after you’ve spent so much time with them and have so many memories with them.

DOES A RELATIONSHIP SURVIVE AFTER INFIDELITY

Experts say relationships can survive after infidelity. An affair is not a terrible disorder with no cure. Just like in a health diagnosis, the root cause of the problem has to be identified before treating it.

However, the cure will only happen when both parties are willing to mend the broken marriage. Both partners have to make efforts to make the marriage work. Statistically, there are a lot of marriages that become more successful after infidelity. An extra-marital affair does not have to be the end.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU STAY OR NOT AFTER INFIDELITY

The idea of divorce typically comes to mind after infidelity. However, infidelity in and of itself, does not end the relationship. Instead, it shatters your idea about relationships. It leaves you thinking whether to stay or go in the relationship. While infidelity is devastating, one must focus on rebuilding the relationship when possible. But sometimes the pain of infidelity is so severe that trust can no longer be given.

10 SIGNS TO UNDERSTAND WHEN TO WALK AWAY AFTER INFIDELITY

Deciding whether to stay or leave the relationship is another type of battle. But knowing when to walk away after infidelity is power. But can you know when it’s time to walk away?

Here are a few signs that may help you decide when you need to walk away:

1.       YOUR PARTNER IS NOT SORRY FOR THE BETRAYAL

If your partner doesn’t show remorse after betraying you, they implicitly tell you the relationship is over. Words are free, and if they aren’t brave enough to consider your feelings, don’t think the relationship will get any better.

Showing signs of remorse will help you move on from the betrayal. Your partner did a terrible act to the marriage, and it’s your partner’s responsibility to make it up to you. If your partner keeps blaming the other person for what happened, then an apology is highly unlikely.

2.       THEY REFUSE TO SEE A COUNSELOR FOR MARRIAGE COUNSELING

One way of knowing when to walk away after infidelity is by asking them to get counseling with you. If they refuse, they are not interested in fixing the marriage.

Communication is the key in every relationship. Counseling will help both spouses communicate their feelings after infidelity. A partner who refuses an open discussion simply means they are no longer interested in making the relationship work.

3.       YOU GET TIRED OF FIXING THE RELATIONSHIP

The pain of infidelity never goes away. We just learn to numb it down, especially if betrayal is a recurring incident. If you don’t care if they are sorry or not, or couples counseling doesn’t interest you anymore, it is an indicator that you’ve had enough.

Once you get tired of fixing the relationship, you’ve already reached the finish line of your marriage. This means you no longer want to put in effort. If this is the case, it’s time to pack up. You deserve happiness elsewhere.

4.       YOUR PARNTER STILL CONNECTED WITH THE THIRD-PARTY

Even when they have shown remorse and attended counseling with you, you’ll be in pain again if they are still connected with their cheating partner. If this happens, everything was an act, and they only did those things to avoid the drama.

The trust that you have to rebuild becomes useless. Even if their connection is innocent, it may cause you sleepless nights. Do you want to live without peace of mind? If no, then that’s how you know when it’s time to go away.

5.       THERE’S NO PROGRESS IN THE RELATIONSHIP

A relationship is a two-way street. While it’s challenging to go back to how things were before, it is possible if both partners are committed to fixing the relationship. If not, it’s a waste of time. Deciding to divorce after infidelity is no easy task. More than that, it’s painful, and it would affect the people close to both of you. But are you willing to settle for a relationship that is not progressing?

Remember that making a marriage work needs two people making an effort. It requires a more substantial commitment.

6.       THE RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON YOU

First of all, it’s your spouse who betrayed the sanctity of marriage. You should not steer the relationship alone to keep it back. If there’s one person who should make the most effort, it’s the cheating spouse. It takes two to tango. If they don’t have any share in putting things back, how sure are you that they are committed this time?

7.       YOU’RE ONLY STAYING FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN

It’s challenging to know when to give up on a marriage after infidelity when children are involved. A lot of things may come to mind – are my children going to be okay? Can I raise them well alone?

However, note that marriage that is not motivated by love and respect is meant to fall apart. Sure, it would be hard for both spouses to stay in a relationship where love and affection are no longer served. However, it’s a lot harder for your kids to see that you’re arguing. Children who are used to seeing betrayal, heated arguments, and fights, it may have caused a long-term psychological impact.

8.       THERE IS NO PHYSICAL INTIMACY IN THE RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE

Getting intimate after infidelity is an essential part of rebuilding the relationship. This will help you get over the betrayal quickly. Most importantly, this can rebuild the trust you’ve given to them once. After all, love and trust are the particular elements of marriage.

It will take awhile to get intimate with your spouse again. As this says, time heals all wounds. However, if you think you can’t be that close to them, the marriage may no longer be salvageable.

9.       THEY ALWAYS LIE

As cliché as it may sound, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” Cheating is a choice, but it’s a lot worse when it becomes part of their identity. If you think dishonesty and deceit have become a pattern, save yourself.

The worst thing about being cheated on many times is you don’t know the truth anymore. Even if they are telling the truth, you’re still doubtful. Once an affair breaks trust, every act can be triggered. Staying will not do any good for both of you.

10.   YOU CAN’T GET OVER THE BETRAYAL

What happens if you can’t get over the betrayal? Even if you wish to get back together, you simply can’t. Even if you both have tried counseling, traveling together, or getting intimate, you can’t move on. Thus, all efforts are put to waste.

Instead of fixing the relationship, it may be time to walk away. Not everyone can have a breakthrough from infidelity. And that’s okay. If you think it has cut your heart deeply and you don’t seem to be able to move on from it, do yourself a favor. File a divorce because it’s time to let go.

After all, both spouses have done their share to save the marriage. Sometimes infidelity is the catalyst that we need to accept to realize it’s not meant to be. Both of you need to give yourself a favor. Maybe happiness could be found elsewhere and not with the person you exchange vows with.