5 THINGS TO ASK BEFORE OPENING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Relationships seem to be “opening up” at a more rapid pace, which may stem from more positive attitudes toward sex and sexual exploration in our culture. The idea of an open relationship may seem both exciting and intimidating at the same time. But they can be tricky to navigate. So where do you start when thinking of opening a relationship?

Here are five questions to think about before starting an open relationship, which could help you determine if an open relationship is right for you.

1.       IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP STABLE?

This may be the most important question of all. Open relationships can be difficult, because they require more trust and communication than your typical relationship. If both you and your partner feel you fully trust one another and have total confidence in your commitment with each other, an open relationship might be for you. However, it is imperative that you understand that opening up your relationship is not the way to repair a damaged connection.

2.       WHAT ARE THE RULES?

Do you have sex together with other people or sex separately with other people? How often can you see the person outside of the relationship? Open relationships need rules and boundaries in order to work. And both people have to trust that these rules and boundaries will be respected when they aren’t present. If not, this could lead to feelings of insecurity and lack of safety, which may result in mistrust and animosity. There are different rules for every open relationship, however they should all be established and agreed upon before the relationship initially opens up. Adding rules or limitations after opening the relationship may lead to conflict, so if the rules aren’t thought through you may miss something.

3.       ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE 100% HONEST?

Honesty is the key to open relationships. Are you going to speak to your partner about sexually explicit activities you have done with another person? What happens if you develop romantic feelings for another person? Are you allowed to see other partners only once or multiple times? These questions are the reason you and your partner must communicate honestly when beginning an open relationship. Starting an open relationship can be extremely emotional, which is why communication and honesty are so important.

4.       DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU ARE DOING IT?

Boredom should not be the answer to this question. If you are bored in your relationship, there are other issues that should be addressed prior to opening it up. Often, opening a relationship can seem like a solution to a lot of common intimacy issues. Before you take the step to open it, make sure you and your partner have good sexual communication.

5.       ARE YOU PREPARED TO TELL PEOPLE?

Communication in an open relationship does not stop with your partner. Are you comfortable talking about your relationship with people you would like to have sex with? What about friends who might see or hear about your new intimate endeavors? If not, then being in an open relationship may not be for you. Open communication about what you and your partner have mutually agreed upon is an important part of having an open relationship.

If done correctly, an open relationship can be a fun and exciting way to broaden your intimate horizons in the comfort of a trusting bond. Open relationships have the ability to increase communication and the level of intimacy you feel with your partner. However, they are not for everyone. Sex therapy can be a safe place for your to explore your own thoughts around an open relationship.