BETRAYAL TRAUMA: CAUSE, SYMPTOMS, AND TREATMENT
INFIDELITY CAN BE TRAUMATIC,
which can cause intensely painful emotions for the person who was cheated on. They may begin to experience symptoms that are similar to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These included heightened anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and emotional distress. Additionally, the betrayed partner may experience nightmares, self-doubt, have trouble trusting people, and withdrawal from social interactions. Ultimately, the level of distress one can experience depends on their unique situation, in addition to how they internalize and cope with the infidelity.
Additional symptoms include, rage, humiliation, intrusive images, flashbacks, preoccupation, emotional numbing, heightened anxiety to triggers, erratic behavior and sudden mood swings, and difficulty with sleep and concentration.
RELIVING AND BEING TRIGGERED BY THE AFFAIR
can bring overwhelming fears and worries. In some situations, an individual’s natural defense mechanisms end up being overwhelmed, which leave them unable to function in a healthy manner.
Interestingly, men and women may experience betrayal trauma differently. Typically, men don’t feel as comfortable expressing their feelings, whereas women often feel more in-tune with their feelings and are less embarrassed to share. Women may also be more willing to share that their partner cheated on them as this may be a way of helping them process the affair. Brain development also differs between males and females. The differences were illustrated by measures of physiological arousal, anger, dissociation, somatization, and personality disorders. Ultimately, women reported more intrusive images and show a higher potential for PTSD than men.
SEVEN WAYS OF DEALING WITH BETRAYAL TRAUMA INCLUDE:
1. DON’T BLAME YOURSELF.
Putting the burden on yourself will make it more difficult to heal. Remember you are not in control of someone else’s decisions and behaviors and those decisions are not a reflection of your worth or value.
2. LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN.
This starts with you. Trusting yourself can help you belief in your judgment and intuition. This better prepares you to let someone back in when you are ready.
3. PRACTICE SELF-CARE.
Find what you need and engage in activities that promote wellness and healing. Activities can include social time with friends, working out, and doing meditation can help by focusing your mind and giving you time to “reset.”
4. SCHEDULE TIME TO WORRY.
Pick a time in the day when you feel focused and calm and set that time aside as time to worry. This can help you release obsessive thought patterns throughout the day.
5. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS.
Identify your feelings and put a name to them. Identify the thoughts which are causing these feelings. Your feelings are determined by your thoughts. When you identify them, you can work to change the thoughts.
6. FIND SUPPORT.
Build a good support system with friends, family, or co-workers can provide you with a sense of security. This can be helpful when you feel the need to reach out and express your emotions.
7. ESTABLISH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
By setting clear and concise boundaries, you let others know your self-worth. This will help you create a safe space to rebuild confidence.
After an affair, if your daily interactions are negatively impacted by thoughts and behaviors, then it may be time to seek professional help.
INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING IS BENEFICIAL
when a person finds themselves facing daily challenges. A therapist can help you identify triggers and how to overcome them. Exploring new coping strategies can help you feel more in control of your emotions and reduce anxiety. PTSD can be treated with cognitive behavioral therapy, using techniques to target distressing emotions and modify maladaptive cognitions and behaviors.
Couples who want to work on their relationship should seek couples counseling. First, each partner needs to decide if they want to stay in the relationship and put in the effort required to make it work. If both people are open to therapy, this could help them rebuild trust through the healing process.
Click here for more information on Betrayal Trauma Therapy.