WHAT TO DO AFTER DISCOVERING AN AFFAIR

THE INITIAL DISCOVERY OF AN AFFAIR

usually triggers powerful emotions for both partners. The partner who has been betrayed may feel traumatized by the break in trust and begins to obsessively think about the affair details. The partner who committed the infidelity may fear being punished forever. It is usually quite difficult during this time period to think rationally, however consider the following:

DON’T MAKE RASH DECISIONS.

If you think you may physically hurt yourself or someone else, seek professional help immediately.

GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE.

The discovery of an affair is intense. You may find yourself acting in ways you couldn’t have even imagined yourself acting. Initially, it is best to avoid these emotionally intense conversations as these can cause potentially more damage that may permanently damage the relationship.

SEEK SUPPORT.

It can be helpful to get support from friends or family. However, there tends to be a lot of judgement when it comes to infidelity. Please know that it is okay if you decide to stay in the relationship to work through it. A lot of people will initially recommend you leave your relationship or question your self-worth if you stay. Neither of these comments or suggestions are particularly helpful and it is critical, if you choose to seek therapy, to find a therapist that aligns with what you want. Not one single therapist is an expert on your life and therefore should not be providing suggestions or guidance on what to do in a situation with infidelity.

TAKE YOUR TIME TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

While you may have a deep desire to find out all the details, doing so will typically only feed that anxiety in your brain and cause you to fixate on the details. This may lead to an increase in trauma and it is important to seek professional guidance when going through this process of the affair recovery process.

Click here for more information on Infidelity Counseling.