We must first dispel the notion that a trigger is inherently negative. It isn’t. A trigger simply refers to something that activates a response within the body. Triggers are typically sensory in nature, meaning they can be compromised of various sights, sensations, textures, and even scents.

Communication within relationships is essential in getting your needs met and letting your partner know how you feel. When the communication is working well, both partners can feel connected, loving and secure.

How does this happen? EMDR helps rapidly reduce the intensity of negative emotions and disrupts the intensity associated with disturbing images, which may be stuck in your mind. Due to research in brain science and Somatic Psychotherapy, we know that stress isn’t always only carried in the brain, but also in the body with tension, discomfort, cramping, trembling, and body aches.

Unlike embarrassment, shame is often attached to thoughts and feelings that remain hidden from the outside world. Shame isn’t always situational. And shame is often intertwined with our moral character, resulting from the perception that our thoughts or actions are not in alignment with our own beliefs, values and personal standards.

Those who are addicted to love often live in a chaotic world with desperate need and emotional despair. Afraid of being both alone and rejected, love addicts endlessly search for someone who will make them feel whole.

You discovered your husband’s porn stash, looked at the history on his internet browser, looked at his phone, or otherwise discovered that he is watching porn. And maybe he has already promised not to watch porn again but you found out he watched porn again. Maybe this is now the fourth or fifth time he has made and broken that promise. Cue more fighting and your demand that he go to therapy.

Being hurt is an inevitable part of living in a broken world with broken people. Maybe our spouse disappointed us, our friend rejected us, our boss underappreciates us, or our family members mistreated us. Whatever the situation, when these injuries occur, it’s natural to feel frustrated, angry and even vengeful.

Almost everyone experiences some kind of traumatic event in their lives. If the type of trauma you experienced occurred in childhood, it’s likely you have experienced some amount of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But what are the long-term effects of childhood trauma? Do these events cause a ripple effect throughout our lives?

While there are important things to know about someone before dating them, there are topics that need to be discussed as you transition to a committed relationship. Being up front and honest in the beginning is better than surprising your partner later in the relationship.

The body launches a stress response when something threatens a person’s survival and sense of safety. Singular events such as accidents, illnesses, or acts of violence may be the source of this danger. Chronic, and oftentimes less visible, distress, may represent years of feeling rejected, bullied, or overlooked at home or in school. It may come from a history of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.

The cyclical grief of loving someone based on their potential and watching them fall short over and over, in damaging and hurtful ways, which you excuse over and over, because of their impassioned apologies and vows of reform, or because of the partly noble, partly naïve notion that a truly magnanimous person is someone who always forgives.

More knowledge needs to be available for young women and men to learn about their bodies, learn about being emotionally vulnerable with others, and what is common (and not) about sexuality so that when they are creating their own sexual identities and sexual lives, they can create a sex life that feels good to them, rather than recreating the fictionalized, and sometimes risky, sex they have seen online.

Every affair will redefine a marriage, and every marriage will determine what the legacy of the affair will be. These days, many of us are going to have two or three significant long-term relationships or marriages. Often when a couple comes to me in the wake of an affair, it is clear to me that their first marriage is over. So I ask them: Would you like to create a second one together?

A very common issue that couples face in and out of therapy, is sex. One of the most common challenges about sex is differences in desire. When struggling with understanding or communicating about these challenges, frustration and resentment can build over time.

As a therapist, it is unfair to push people to divorce or think that divorce is always the better solution. Especially given that divorce dissolves all family bonds. Entire lives are intertwined with a marriage. It is social networks, children’s lives, grandchildren and economics.

Sexual abuse can leave a person feeling confused about their own sexual feelings. A person’s sense of healthy sexual desire and their trauma-related fantasy blurs the boundaries for survivors. Self-doubt can persist, especially if the sexual abuse occurred in childhood.

Betrayal trauma is likened to when a person you are significantly attached to, doesn’t only betray your trust but also lets you down in a critical way.

Your earliest attachments with parents or caregivers shape your abilities and expectations for relationships throughout your life. This first relationship impacts how your sense of self develops, and how you see relationships working.

EMDR is not hypnosis. You are awake and alert during the entire session. You have complete control of the entire session. In the event you do want to stop, there are safeguards in place.

The love languages are a good concept for nurturing healthy relationships, except for one thing. Love languages can only work when assuming both partner’s brains are able to think clearly and calmly. This is not often the case for trauma survivors who frequently exist in a state of alarm. They are living with a traumatized nervous system, and survival impulses have hijacked the brain.